I have been contemplating recently what an authentic life means to me, in particular, what MY authentic life looks like.
There are many ways that I have been broken open in the last year and a half. Some of the ways were not of my own choosing, but some of them most definitely were. Walking straight into some dark places knowing full well of the pain that was living within the darkness. Knowing full well that what I was walking away from, even with the safety and security that it enabled me to have, was not mine to keep anymore. The grieving and the loss had begun and if I am honest with myself, it still continues today in my most vulnerable moments. Those are the moments I feel the most alone.
Those are also the moments that if I lean in instead of walk away from, the most powerful and life giving experiences occur. Seeking to look at what lies beneath the surface. The truths that have only been mine to see are becoming more seen by others, because I choose to unwrap them a bit. But what I am finding out is that there are gems that have been living beneath the surface that I haven't even allowed myself to see. They are new discoveries for even me.
It is a powerful time of confidently walking into those painful, dark spaces. Leaning into, growing more in the depth of love I have for myself, the depth of love I have for those around me, the courage to cover myself in a blanket of forgiveness. Offering space to others that have hurt me, to cuddle with me under that blanket and be consumed by the love that will follow.
I want to tap more into my creative self, letting myself go in moments of vulnerability. Freedom to embrace me. Am I valuable enough to be seen? I think so. But I want to be able to confidently say loudly and freely, 'Yes, I am valuable!!!'
I am the only one that can give myself that freedom. It has to come from within me.
And so the leaning in continues. I am ready to be transformed and accepting and fully embracing the wonderful energy to be fully me. I am ready.
Authenticity.
